Red Robes

I was part of this church for a god in a mask and robe. Fifteen minutes before service started, there was this weird mandatory dance we would all do in a line. Then members of the congregation were pitted against each other in fun little team games. Depending on how well you did personally, you got a certain color robe, red, green, or white.

Once you had your robe, you would get in line and one by one come to face with the church’s god. If you had a white robe, he gave you a Free Blessing™. In green, you were eligible for blessing if you traded in enough fortune points, which were like little gems.

If you had a red robe, he would bash your face into a table covered in spikes.

It was so strange to have friendly banter with this god, but also to know that if you got a red robe next round, he would just kill you. He was also low-key very uncomfortable with touch, and bristled when people got too close.

I think he had a crush on me though, and I never got a red robe. I remember saying, “You want to be Jhin so I would like you back, and Jhin wants to be you so he could be a god.”

Also, we were supposed to make craft bees out of paper and yarn or something, put them onto a picture frame, and hang them up. It was our assignment. He was very disappointed that most of us forgot our bees.