“Impossibly Happy Scenario”

For once, I had a theater dream where no one got mad at me for not knowing what was going on. My role was mostly just to sit there and cry a lot, a very important part in a stage play called Impossibly Happy Scenario1.

It was about a guy who was part-Monobear and part-random magical dude. He kept a group of people captive and forced them to go through a series of puzzles to get out. Various levels took place on a top-down game board, like checkers or go. The players had to mutilate themselves in various ways in order to become “whitened” or “blackened,” and then the whitened and blackened players would pair off. To win, you had to alternate pairs of black and white to make a path from one side of the board to the other. If you didn’t have anyone to pair with, you would die.

The various forms of self-mutilation all had names, but I don’t remember what they were. I have no idea how we did the practical effects, either, since I deffo recall some kid’s face getting scraped off like it was made of ice cream, leaving a sad, flat, white face underneath, resembling markings on the a cross-section of a tree trunk.

If you criticized Monobear guy at all you would get injured. I criticized him constantly. My role was to be the Princess, who wears a white dress with black tiger stripes and is trapped in something like a dentist chair surrounded by power tools. She doesn’t participate in the games. The Princess is the prototype on which all the mutilation methods are tested — usually vaginally, so I suppose it was more like a gynecologist chair than a dentist chair!

Apparently all the players of the game were synthetic lifeforms. I asked Monobear why he kept hurting me, and he said I’m based on a girl who cheated on him in life (is this the afterlife now??? Did she die? I don’t know).

I said okay, yeah, but you’re still raping me with power tools, so that’s pretty fucked up.

He was like “oh hey yeah,” and that was the play!

  1. “THAT TITLE AROUSES NOTHING BUT SUSPICION” — Nekkowe

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